That question is exhausting to carry alone. This is a structured way to look at it — 25 questions about what actually happens between you, scored across five patterns that tend to show up together.
This assessment is for education and self-reflection. It does not diagnose any mental health condition. If you are in immediate danger, call 911, or reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
These are the questions people are usually holding when they arrive here. You don't need a crisis to deserve an answer to them.
Scoring them apart matters. A relationship can be fine in four of these and seriously off in the fifth — and that fifth one is usually the thing you couldn't put words to.
How often your feelings get dismissed, minimized, or turned into evidence that something is wrong with you.
Whether your money, time, phone, or friendships have quietly become things you have to negotiate for.
How often you end up unsure of your own memory — and whether that started before this relationship or during it.
What happens after something goes wrong. Whether repair is possible, or whether it always circles back to you.
Whether care moves in both directions, or whether you've gotten used to being the one who carries it.
Your total score, your tier, and your score in all five patterns — shown immediately when you finish. No payment required to see where you landed.
Three steps. Nothing to install, nothing to sign up for.
No claims we can't back. Here is exactly what the assessment does and doesn't do.
No account. No email. No password. Your individual answers never leave your browser — only an anonymous score total is recorded.
Your score and tier are shown before any payment page. You will never pay to find out whether it was worth finding out.
This is a structured reflection tool, not a diagnosis. It won't tell you what to do, and it doesn't pretend to know your partner.
Optional. Your scores are free either way — this is the part that explains them.
Written for the specific combination of scores your answers produced.
The report is built from your answers, so the assessment comes first. You'll see your score before deciding anything.
No. This is a self-reflection tool, not a clinical assessment, and it can't diagnose anyone — including your partner. It gives structure to something you've been carrying without structure. If you want a clinical opinion, a licensed professional is the right route, and this can be a useful thing to bring to that first appointment.
No. Your total score, your tier, and your score in each of the five patterns are shown free the moment you finish. The paid report adds the written analysis — what each score means in practice, why the pattern repeats, and what tends to shift it.
Your individual answers are processed in your browser and never sent to our servers. When you finish, an anonymous score total is recorded so the assessment can be improved — no answers, no email, nothing linked to you. There's a quick-exit link on the assessment page if you need to leave fast.
Please don't wait for an assessment. Call 911 if you're in immediate danger. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, available 24/7, or text START to 88788. The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is 988.
It's built for your clarity, not as evidence. Handing someone a score rarely produces the conversation you're hoping for, and in some dynamics it escalates things. If you want to change how a conversation goes, a therapist can help you plan that more safely.
Start with reading. These are free and there's no signup.
What it looks like when it's happening, versus what it feels like afterward.
The signs that tend to cluster, and why noticing one usually means looking for the others.
Why "just leave" is the least useful advice, and what's actually happening instead.
You'll see your score before anything is asked of you.
Start the assessmentThis assessment is for educational and self-reflection purposes only. It does not diagnose narcissistic personality disorder or any mental health condition. If you feel unsafe, please seek immediate help from trusted people, local emergency services, or a licensed professional.